she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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