Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize