She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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