okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Your cock deserves a montage
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
