So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
