I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
