Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
