Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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