Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My day in three words: secret purse cake
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
