i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
