I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
My bed smells like the plague
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
