weddingsv make me drug and hornr
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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