I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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