Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
