he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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