thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
please come you make the beer taste better
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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