Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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