What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
