I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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