I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
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ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
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State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.