too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.