Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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