Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm always down for nudity.
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