Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
They took my balls.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
