Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
