Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
