After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
