So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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