nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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