Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
