Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
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I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Also, beer. Big fan.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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