So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
