you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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