I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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