Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
