I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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