I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
