That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
