I must be too annoying 4 u.
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
