I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
