I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
