Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms