I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
