You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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