I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
