I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Duck Duck Cougar?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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