Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
