you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
