Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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