Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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