You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
