bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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