their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
only if we run a train.
done.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
