...so i touched it.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
