ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
this hospital has no fireball
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
