In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
my liver is dry heaving
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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