If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Pappa wants mamma naked
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
of course. lets lasso hookers.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
