Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
