I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
