my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
