tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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