Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
